This is a long post, but I promise you that if you read it and fully take it in, it will save you so much frustration, cut years off the time it takes for you to build your dream business, and you’ll create more success a lot faster.
The stuff I’m telling you about here isn’t random. It’s not wishful-thinking stuff. This is the stuff that actually matters when it comes to being, doing and having the online business you desire.
This is what I wish I knew when I started my online business back in 2007. Over a decade later, I finally know what really matters and what it really takes to create the success you dream of.
So often we convince ourselves that what matters is taking action and mastering strategies and following a plan and connecting the dots. And while it’s true that some of that matters some of the time, it’s not what actually matters in the grand-scheme of things.
What matters in the big picture is a lot of stuff you’d typically dismiss, because it doesn’t feel practical enough and we’re told that to be successful, you must do a whole lot of practical stuff.
But what if it could be easier than that? What if it could be a hell of a lot easier than that?
What if you didn’t have to follow a bunch of rules or implement a bunch of strategies that don’t feel good to you? What if you could tap into what’s already inside you?
The things I’m about to divulge to you are the spiritual, intuitive way of doing business. It’s not for everyone, but it is for you if you want more:
Are you ready?
And let me just add, you can feel free to ignore everything I’m saying here, call me crazy and go back to searching for a more practical way of doing it. But trust me when I say, if you do, you’re just setting yourself up for struggle, frustration and taking a whole lot more time to achieve the results you want.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Dream life or bust,
I know, I know. It sounds SO simple. And that’s because, it is.
Feeling good is the number one priorty you should have in your day every single day. Period.
When you feel good, you are connected at a vibrational level to all of the things you desire to be, do and have.
Alternately, when you feel bad, you’re resisting and pushing away all of the things you desire. And that will be the thing that stops you from getting what you want.
We live in a vibrational, energy-based Universe. Which means how you feel emotionally actually matters more than what you do, physically.
And how you feel will influence the vibration that you put out into the world.
People can feel your energy. They don’t even have to be in the same room as you in order to do it, either. They can feel it through a written post. They can feel it through a livestream. They can feel it through a video or an audio.
Energy is contagious.
But no one wants to be in the energetic space of someeone who feels bad, is playing a victim or who just has a negative mindset in general. So if you’re going out there marketing your offers while feeling desperate or worried or fearful, that’s the energy being fused into everything you do.
And, well, your ideal clients aren’t in that energetic space. And they’re most definitely not going to hand over their money to work with you when you show up in the world with negative energy.
The way to create ease and flow and to have everything you’re doing in your business work better, is to feel good.
It took me YEARS to finally fully accept that success is an inner game. We often think success comes from taking a lot of action, and while action does help, it’s not where success actually comes from.
Success comes from what you believe, how you think and how you see yourself.
It’s all an inner game. And this is a hard pill for most of us to swallow because we’ve been taught that we have to work hard for success, so it seems too easy that a simple mindset shift could really make that big of a difference.
But it does.
Your mindset is everything. It’s absolutely everything. And if you can accept this early on in your business and commit to working on your mindset every day, you’ll achieve greater levels of success so fast it might make your head spin.
I quit my day job in 2012 to turn my side business into a full-time thing. This is the total income my business has brought in over the last 6 years (before taxes and expenses)…
I started doing a consistent DAILY mindset practice in August 2015. So it’s no surprise to see how much higher my income started to jump from that point.
My business (and life) changed drastically when I finally committed to doing a daily mindset practice. Since then, I’ve only missed a few days here and there.
And I know without a doubt that is the reason I’ve been able to achieve the success I have over the last few years, which includes writing and publishing 10 books, hitting #1 in my category on Amazon multiple times with multiple books, making $82,707 in one year, manifesting $15,000 in 45 days and MORE.
If you take nothing else away from this, I beg you, create a daily mindset practice–one that feels good to you–and make it a nonnegotiable to do it every day.
Once you get the hang of this and are doing it consistently every day, then you can tweak it for even better results.
I spent so many years in my business chasing shiny objects, telling myself I didn’t know enough, and looking for the ‘magic bullet’ solution that would change everything for me. Little did I know, that magic bullet solution was actually right in front of my face the whole time.
And all I had to do to activate it, was throw away the rules.
The rules of running an online business and doing marketing are things made up by other people. Which means they’re not real.
Yet so many entrepreneurs get caught up in operating their businesses by trying to follow all of the so-called rules.
When you get caught up in following all the rules or trying to do things how other people tell you that you should, you end up frustrated, resentful, chasing shiny objects, always feeling like you’re not doing enough, and nothing you do works as well as you want it to.
So you have to give yourself permission to throw the rules out the window and do business in a way that feels good to you.
For example, the “rules” say that if you want to create a successful online business, you must have a website. But an entrepreneur-friend of mine made $500K in her online business in one year without having a website.
Which can only mean..the rules are made up. They’re certainly not things you should be using for the foundation for your success as an entrepreneur.
Earlier this year, I gave myself permission to fully do business my way and on my terms. Here’s what that looks like for me right now…
Implementing all of this even for a short period of time has made me happier, made my business more fun and given me a hell of a lot more freedom, which is, of course, the whole point.
Toss the rulebook in the fire. It’s time to write your own rules for your business.
When things are moving slowly in our businesses or we’re not getting the results we want or we’re desperate for money, it’s so easy to forget what really matters and start running around like a chicken with your head cut off. But the truth is, doing anything in your business (or life) from a place of feeling frantic, desperate, scared or any other negative emotion will guarantee that nothing you do works.
No matter how hard you’re working. No matter how much effort you’re putting in. No matter how much time you’re giving to it.
On the contrary, if you first get into alignment, you can literally take any action under the sun and it will work, because you’re coming at it from a place of alignment.
Alignment means you’re feeling good and your beliefs, thoughts, feelings and energy are aligned and on the same vibrational frequency as the things you desire.
I can’t even begin to describe how many years I spent in my business working from a to-do list that always seemed to get longer instead of shorter, endlessly chasing the next strategy that would get me there, and taking tons of actions from the wrong energetic space. It’s no wonder I struggled for so long.
These days, I get into alignment first and then I take whatever action I’m inspired to. No more to-do list. No more stressing out about the stuff I’m not doing. No more getting distracted by the shiny-object things I think I should be doing. And anything that I know actually needs to be done, but it’s not aligned for me to do it, I pass off to my team to handle for me. (See #6 for more on this.)
Take action from alignment and from a feel-good space and that’s it.
And when I don’t feel good or when I know I’m out of alignment, I don’t take ANY action in my business. Instead, I rest. I recharge. I take a nap. I go for a walk with my dog. I hit the gym. I watch a funny movie. I stretch. I listen to 90s music.
I do whatever I can to get myself back into a space of feeling good before I will take another action in my business.
Here’s an example of why: One Monday a couple weeks ago, I woke up feeling frantic. I spent the entire weekend having fun and I didn’t work at all, which also meant I didn’t do any sales activity to promote my workshop that was starting the next day. At first I started to make myself wrong for all the things I didn’t do, and then I almost jumped into action and started doing random things from that energy.
Thankfully, I caught myself right away and realized that I’d be doing myself a huge disservice–and nothing would work anyhow–to approach promoting my workshop from that frantic-feeling space. So instead, I spent a couple hours getting myself into feel-good mode and alignment, and then I asked myself, “what action can I take to sell more spots in my workshop?” The first thought that came to me was to send an email to the people who were in the last round of the workshop, to let them know it was the final day to sign up for the new round. Within an hour, 10 people signed up for my workshop and hundreds of dollars–cash–had come into my business. All of that from one email.
Do you think the outcome would’ve been the same if I had written and sent that email feeling frantic or desperate about selling more spots? Hell no.
It worked because I was in alignment and feeling good before I took action.
And, really, that’s why the idea to take that action came to me AFTER I got into alignment and feeling good, and NOT before. Because in a frantic, desperate energetic space, ideas like that can’t reach you. They’re not on the same vibrational frequency.
Like energy attracts like energy.
Get into a high-vibe space and then take action to your heart’s content. Repeat daily.
Principle #5: Your Energy Matters
We live in an energetic Universe. Science has proven it. And, just like gravity, ‘like attracts like’ is a law you can’t get around.
Whatever energy and vibration you’re putting out into the world is what’s coming back to you. Always. No exceptions.
So it’s time to start being more intentional about your energy and the frequency you’re vibrating on.
People can feel the energy and intention behind the things you do in your business. If you’re promoting your offer while projecting a vibration of desperation or fear or worry about being seen as slimy or sleezy, that is the energy people will feel.
And no one buys from that kind of energy.
The number one thing people say to me when they sign up for my workshops or decide to work with me in a private coaching program is that they love my energy.
My energy is magnetic because I spend time every single day getting myself into a high-vibe space before I take any actions in my business (see point #4). So when I do a video, a livestream or even just write a rant-y Facebook post, people can feel that high-vibe energy coming through the screen.
And it magnetizes them. It makes them want more from me.
The same will be true for you when you start being intentional about your energy. Here’s a list of things you can try:
These activities will have you feeling good in no time. And when you approach your business–and life–from that place, that’s when stuff actually starts to work.
And, no matter what, make a commitment to yourself that you will not sell, promote or do any other public-facing activity in your business unless you’re feeling good and coming from a feel-good place. If you find yourself in fear or desperation, either wait or get yourself into a feel-good place before you move forward.
A huge mistake I made was trying to be a one-woman-show for so long. I ran my entire business all by myself for over a decade.
I actually used to wear “I’m a one-woman-show” as a badge of honor.
But then I realized:
Truth is, delegating was hard for me. I’m a control freak and I like things being done a certain way. It took me a long time to believe that there was someone out there who could do things in my business as well as I can.
It took me a decade to finally get over myself and hire a Digital Content Manager to help me out. Now I’m delegating so much stuff to her that I’m actually in a place where I can focus on the things I’m best at.
As the CEO of your company, you don’t have the time or capacity to do everything and still be as successful as you want to be, and as a mentor once said to me, you should never be doing activities in your business that you can pay someone $15-25 an hour to do for you.
So even though it doesn’t seem to make sense–why should you invest what little money you have to invest right now in hiring help? Shouldn’t you be hiring a coach or paying for a workshop or something to learn more? And the answer is… maybe.
Maybe what you do need right now is a coach or a workshop that shows you what you need to know. And you should get one if you want one.
But you could also just hiring someone who can take over those tasks for you, so you can focus on money-generating and growth activities.
The #1 reason entrepreneurs don’t say what they really believe or think publicly? They’re afraid of offending someone.
Here’s the thing… you might. You might say something that gets someone’s panties into a bunch or that pisses them off. And you know what? That’s OK.
It’s OK for everyone to not agree with you.
In fact, you don’t want everyone to agree with you. And you don’t even have to care about making everyone agree with you.
The only people who have to agree with your opinion–and usually the only ones who will–are your ideal clients/customers/students/audience.
And how do you attract those ideal people to you?
By sharing what you really think, what you really believe and how you really feel about the topics that are of importance to you and to them. You must know what you stand for and what you stand against.
And you must be willing to go public with your message.
But you’ll never do that if you’re constantly worried that you’ll step on someone’s toes or make someone upset. People get upset about everything these days and there’s always someone who gets offended by something that seems totally harmless.
The point being?
Get over it. If you want to create a successful online business, you have to learn to be OK with not being liked by everyone.
It took me YEARS to finally be OK with saying what I really think. And to this day I still get emails from people who tell me that I swear too much. You know what I say to that? Too bad. I am who I am and I’m not going to be fake to my audience.
The point of having an online business is not to try and be all things to all people. And the entrepreneurs who do that end up nowhere.
So often when entrepreneurs first launch a business, they’ll just say yes to everything. Every client who wants to work with them. Every project that comes their way. If it will make them money, they say yes.
And here’s why that’s the worst thing you can do: Saying yes to everyone and everything is the fastest path to a business that doesn’t feel good.
When I first quit my day job to take my side business full-time, I said yes to everything and everyone. And not too far down the road I found myself working on stuff I didn’t care about. I found myself procrastinating and avoiding the work I had to do. I found myself bored as fuck.
I honestly felt like I was working another shitty day job, even though I was still working for myself.
And that’s because not everyone who wants to work with you will be an ideal client, and not every project that crosses your inbox will be ideal either. A very good rule to adopt early on is to not do things just for the money.
I know–it’s so hard! Especially when you’ve got bills to pay and you’re trying to get established as an online entrepreneur.
But when you say yes to non-ideal people or non-ideal projects, you end up working twice as hard for the same amount of money, and you feel annoyed, angry and resentful the whole time. And you’re blocking ideal people and projects from coming to you, because you’ll be too busy dealing with the non-ideal people and projects you already said yes to.
You have to know exactly who you want to work with and exactly what you want to be spending your time doing, and then commit to only saying yes to that stuff.
A good measurement for whether or not a person or project is ideal is to ask yourself: is this a ‘Hell Fuck Yes!’ person or project? Meaning, do you feel excited and passionate and so pumped up? Meaning, is this person or project something that makes you scream “Hell Fuck Yes!” or not?
Saying no to anything that isn’t a ‘Hell Fuck Yes!’ frees you up to only work with ideal clients and on ideal projects. And that’s the whole reason you wanted to get into business in the first place, right?
Trust your gut. Say ‘no’ unless it’s a ‘Hell Fuck Yes!’ Or you’ll regret it, I promise you.
How many times have your heard someone tell you it’s “all about the numbers?” Probably a lot, because this is something online marketing and business people say all the time.
They’ll tell you that you must have a huge email list if you want to make money. They’ll tell you to invest time and money growing your following on social media or to advertise and grow your email list.
And while it’s not totally wrong–after all, you do need to focus some of your time on growth activities–it’s total bullshit at the same time.
The numbers don’t actually matter. I know entrepreneurs with a huge list who don’t make as much money as they want to. I know entrepreneurs with a small list who make serious bank every month.
At the current moment (as I write this), I have 3,510 people on my email list. Which to most entrepreneurs is a very small list. And yet in 2017, I still made $82,707 cash in my business, mostly through email marketing.
You don’t need a big list to make a big income.
The income I made in 2017 surpassed what I used to make at my highest paid day job. And while, sure, I’d love to make more and know that I will, I still made quite a bit with a relatively small email list.
Point being, the numbers don’t matter. Period.
You can have 10,000 people on your email list and if you’re not adding value consistently, if you’re not giving them what they want for free, if you’re not nurturing them and allowing them to get to know you enough that they begin to Know, Like and Trust you?
Then they ain’t buying. Doesn’t matter how many people you have on your list.
On the other hand, if you do all of those things, even with a small email list, you’ll still make money.
Stop worrying and stressing about the numbers. The numbers don’t matter.
When entrepreneurs first get into business, the first thing they think to do is learn strategy.
A strategy for growing their email list. A strategy for making money. A strategy for how to launch. A strategy for how to market their services. A strategy for how to sell more on social media.
And while having a strategy is important to launching, growing and expanding your online business, the specifics of the strategy don’t really matter.
Entrepreneurs get so caught up in following the steps or connecting the dots, but a lot of times what happens is, even if you implement said-strategy perfectly, you still might not get the results you desire.
And that’s because not every strategy is a good fit for every entrepreneur or every product/service.
Let’s be real here–ALL of the strategies work, to some capacity. But whether or not it will work for you comes down to several factors that have nothing to do with the actual strategy itself:
There are so many variables when it comes to making a strategy work, that even when the person guarantees “if you implement this strategy exactly like I did you’ll get results,” it still doesn’t actually guarantee that you will.
So rather than making a specific strategy the be-all-end-all in your business, and forcing yourself into playing by the rules and following the steps and connecting the dots, why not first connect with yourself and with the Universe and then decide what action to take? (Hint: go back and read #4).
ALL of the strategies work. But not when you’re feeling like shit, worried about money or with beliefs that say it’s not going to work.
The final thing I want to mention that is something I not only wish I knew back when I first started, but also wish I had implemented sooner once I did learn it. And that is, just do you.
At the end of the day, nothing will ever work in your business if you’re not making yourself and how you like to do things and what you want a number one priority.
When I first quit my job to turn my side business into a full-time thing, I basically treated my business like I was still working a 9-to-5er. I got to my desk at 8 a.m. and more or less stayed there ’til 5 p.m. And even years later, I was still forcing myself to skip out on social events to work all day and night, because I thought that’s what I had to do to be successful.
But the truth is, when you try to operate your business or your life by what someone else does or says or someone else’s standards, you end up miserable and resentful.
I loved that I was working for myself and that I had total control of my time and location. What I didn’t love was the fact that my business wasn’t fun, it felt like work a lot of the time, I wasn’t enjoying any social time or even living my life, and I was burning myself out while still not making the money I wanted to make.
I was modeling my business after all the things I’d been told over the years about what you should do when you work for yourself. Keep a schedule. Don’t stay up too late. Get up super early. There’s no time for socializing. You have to work all the time when you work for yourself. Don’t take any vacation time until you’ve hit the first $100k.
I had basically traded my day job for a day AND night job working for myself. And it sucked.
And finally this year I decided–FUCK THIS!!
I am DONE.
I had enough and was ready to fully create the business I actually wanted–the one I quit my damn job for in the first place. And that’s when things started to fall into place.
You have to do what works best for you. Always. And I wasn’t doing that in all the areas I wanted to.
For example, everyone says you have to do free calls if you want to get clients. But I hate doing sales calls. It feels totally ick to me. So forcing myself to do free discovery calls to get new clients never worked as well as it should have, because I hated doing it and it felt bad to me. (And, as we talked about in point #1, if it feels bad, it’s not going to work.)
So in 2016, I decided to stop doing calls and I instead signed all of my clients via email or Facebook messenger. That felt so much better to me, and to this day I still sign up my private coaching clients this way.
I also work with clients almost exclusively via email and Facebook messenger (text and voice). I used to do programs where I had to have a pre-scheduled phone call with each client once a week for 6 to 12 weeks and that eventually burned me out and made me hate my business. I’m not a phone person and I hate living on a set schedule. I prefer to do things via email, text and voice memo, and to have free-flow in my week. So that’s how I do it now.
This is what it means to do you. You have to figure out who you are, what you like, what you don’t like and then implement it, and you have to give yourself permission to pivot or change your mind whenever you want to.
Do you means you’re not trying to follow what anyone else is doing. You’re not even concerned with what anyone else is doing. You’re just doing what works best for you, always, in all areas and situations.
It took me a decade to finally start to just do me in my own fucking business. How insane is that?!
But now that I am, I’m so much happier, I have the freedom and flexibility I desire, and I feel so good. I feel high-vibe every day thanks to making these changes in my business.
And, of course, this is reflecting in my income and the level of clients that are coming to me.
On your entrepreneurial journey, one of the most important things you can learn to do is trust yourself. To trust your gut, your instinct, your intuition; to listen to it; and to act on it.
If you do this, you will never go wrong. No matter what anyone else says.
1. Feel Good
2. Work On Your Inner Game Every Day
3. Throw Away the Rules
4. Get Into Alignment Before You Take Any Action
5. Your Energy Matters
6. Hire Help Early On
7. Don’t Worry About/Be Afraid Of Offending People
8. If It’s Not A ‘Hell Fuck Yes!’ It’s A ‘No’
9. It’s Not About the Numbers
10. The Strategy Doesn’t Matter
11. Do You